Whether you’re seeing a sex worker for the first time or you’re an experienced player, choosing the right location is essential. You may have seen comments such as, ‘outcall only to CBD hotels’ or, ‘incall in Los Angeles metro area’ and wondered what it means...
This article explains the difference between an incall and an outcall when you spend time with an escort, erotic massage worker, or any other kind of independent, hands-on sex worker. We’ll look at the definitions of ‘incall’ and ‘outcall’ and I’ll give you my personal advice on the advantages and disadvantages of an in call versus an out call booking.
Choosing between ‘incall’ and ‘outcall’ is a big decision.
When you’re arranging that all-important date with a sex professional–such as an erotic masseuse or independent escort–you’ve probably given a lot of thought to who you’re meeting and what you’d like to do together. But the location–whether it’s your home, a hotel, or your provider’s place of work - will have a huge impact on your enjoyment and satisfaction.
Travel time, discretion, mood lighting, temperature…where you meet will affect all of this. So you need to know what an incall and outcall are, and the pros and cons of each. Once you know, you’ll be able to plan an enjoyable date with a paid companion.
Incall/outcall meanings explained
I’m going to start with a quick definition of both incall and outcall, so you know exactly what I’m talking about. But first, we need to define what I mean when I talk about ‘escorting’ and ‘erotic massage’.
Independent escorts and FBSM/erotic massage workers are both kinds of sex workers–people who swap sexy services for payment. A hands-on sex worker might work in a variety of jobs, including as a brothel worker (in a Nevada brothel, for instance). In the case of escorting, my definition is ‘any hands-on sex worker who offers companionship and/or sex in exchange for payment.’ And an erotic massage worker, or full body sensual massage (FBSM) provider typically specializes in nude massage that includes a handjob, or ‘happy ending’.
What does this mean for incalls and outcalls? Well, when you arrange to meet an escort or FBSM worker, you’ll usually need to specify whether the session is an incall or an outcall. Here are my definitions.
Definition: What is an incall?
An incall is a booking where you travel to meet a sex worker (such as an escort) at their home or place of work. Many sex workers have apartments or other spaces that they set aside specifically for seeing clients. Sometimes these spaces are shared with other workers so that a number of people can see clients at different times throughout the day.
Here’s an example: depending on your location, you may be able to arrange an erotic incall massage with an FBSM worker. You contact them to arrange a suitable time, they provide their address, and you travel to their apartment at the agreed booking time. You follow their instructions to access the building. You then have exactly the time you’ve paid for to enjoy your massage, shower, and leave.
If your escort is on tour and visiting your town or city, they may be staying in a hotel and invite clients to come to them. This means you’ll either need to find your way to the worker’s hotel room once they supply you with the room number, or meet them in the lobby (or outside the hotel) before going up to the room together.
Definition: What is an outcall?
An outcall is a booking where a sex worker (such as an escort) travels to meet you, either at your home or at a hotel room you’ve arranged. As part of the booking and screening process, you’ll be required to supply your address or hotel name and room number. You may need to confirm these details–for example, you may be asked to answer a phone call made directly to your room or share a valid ID such as a driver's license.
Incalls/outcalls compared: the pros and cons
Both incall and outcall bookings with sex workers have their advantages and disadvantages. Your best option may depend on your needs, how far in advance you request a session and the provider’s specific boundaries. Here are a few pros and cons for each option.
The advantages of incalls:
- You don’t have to worry about the expense or hassle of booking a hotel room
- Your worker is more likely to have easy access to a range of toys, outfits, and safer sex supplies
The disadvantages of incalls:
- The incall address might not be in a convenient location–it might be a longer drive, parking might not be convenient, public transport may not be close by. This is stuff you won’t have any control over.
- You can’t choose the space based on your needs–for example, if you need a bathroom that accommodates your disability, your worker’s incall space might not be suitable.
The advantages of outcalls:
- If you’re looking for a luxury experience, you can choose a hotel where you feel comfortable. There may also be other advantages, such as being able to have a drink in the bar or dinner at a nearby restaurant.
- For convenience, you may be able to ask a worker to come directly to your home. This will save you any travel time or hotel expenses.
The disadvantages of outcalls:
- An outcall can sometimes be less discreet. If you’re worried about being seen by hotel staff or gossiped about by the neighbors, an outcall might not be the safest option. Of course, this does very much depend on the specific hotel or the kind of building you live in.
- Not all workers will visit a home or residence, and those who do will require time to plan and prepare for the journey. So if you’re looking for a short-notice booking (which we don’t recommend anyway) then you may have more luck with an incall worker.
Common questions about incalls and out calls
As a client of sex workers, you may have some questions about how incalls and outcalls work. Here are the most common questions I’m asked by escort and massage provider customers.
“Will an escort provide an outcall to my home?”
A home visit may seem like the most convenient option for a quick, sexy date. But you should know that not all workers will visit private residences. This is sometimes for safety reasons - a worker might feel more secure offering their services from their own space, rather than traveling to an area that could be potentially unsafe. Others may be concerned that your bed linen, bathroom, and other facilities might not be up to the right standards.
Whatever the reason, if an escort says that they don’t visit homes, you’ll need to respect that. Don’t try to talk them into it, or lie about your location! It never works, and the provider will probably refuse to see you in the future.
“How can I tell if an escort offers an in call service?”
In many places, an escort will use their website or online advertisement to specify whether they offer incalls, outcalls, or both. It’s important to read their ad and/or website carefully to make sure you know what they offer and whether there are any conditions you should be aware of.
In some places in the world, incalls are prohibited by law. Finding a sex worker who offers an incall service will be trickier in this case, because you won’t be able to read this information in their advertising. You might be able to ask, ‘am I able to visit you?’ When arranging a booking. Or, if even more discretion is required, you could say. ‘What are our options for meeting location? I’d welcome your suggestions.’
“How do I choose the right hotel for an outcall escort booking?”
I know a lot of clients who sweat about the small details-how much to tip, what to say in conversation with their sex worker, and, of course, which hotel to book for a special date. I think it’s lovely when a client puts so much thought into getting all the details right…and if you’re thinking about this stuff, it means you’re music more likely to have a fun encounter.
The hotel you select to meet your outcall escort will depend on your preferences, your budget, and your escort's requirements. Some providers require an outcall hotel to be 4-or-5-star rated, while others are more relaxed. You can often learn more about their requirements by reading their ad or website...if you're not sure, it's always safer to ask than to guess! Try saying, 'Do you have a recommended list of hotels?'
“Do erotic massage workers offer incalls?”
Erotic massage workers - also known as full body sensual massage (FBSM) providers - generally offer a nude massage that finishes with a hand job (also known as a ‘happy ending’). It’s a popular sexual service, and if you’re located in a large town or city you’ll find a range of providers by searching online.
Many FBSM specialists have their own incall spaces set up with a massage table and other specialized supplies. But it’s best not to assume! Always read a provider’s advertisement carefully, and ask if you’re not sure whether they offer incalls.
“How can I find an erotic massage worker near me who offers incalls?”
As with escorts, the easiest way to find out if a massage provider offers incalls is to read their advertisement and/or website…and, if in doubt, to ask politely.
In some locations where incalls are prohibited by law, it may be trickier to figure out whether a particular sex worker has an incall space you can visit. You might need to ask them, using discreet wording such as, ‘Can you advise the best place for us to meet?’ Once you’ve completed the screening process and arranged a time to meet your worker, they can usually give you more details.
Advice on booking an escort for an incall or outcall
Regardless of whether you’d like an incall or an out call, there are a few important rules to keep in mind when hiring an escort or massage service provider.
Tip #1: Know what you want beforehand
Many clients rush the booking process. They see an escort or FBSM worker that looks appealing and they send them an email, text, or phone call without taking time to figure out all the important details. This can make them seem insincere or disorganized. When an escort receives your message and it doesn’t give any of the details she needs, she’s probably going to ignore it or tell you ‘no’ outright.
When booking a sex worker, you need to figure out the details beforehand. That means knowing:
- When you’d like to meet them
- Where you’d like to meet them
- How long you want to spend together
That means you'll need to decide whether an incall or outcall suits you best, before you contact your preferred provider.
Whether you call or text, communicate clearly about your location preferences
Sometimes it can be difficult for an escort or massage provider to figure out what you need if you don’t communicate clearly. When you call or message a provider, you should let them know all of the details we discussed above. A good booking message might look like this:
‘Hi, my name is John. I’d like to see you tomorrow at 5pm for an hour if you’re free? Please let me know if you’re able to visit me at my home in the CBD.’
If you call an escort, be sure to share these details quickly, without trying to engage in too much small talk. They’ll be appreciative, as we’re usually quite busy!
Don’t call escorts at the last minute (for incall or outcall sessions)
Regardless of whether you’d like an incall or outcall, it’s rare that any sex worker will be available ‘right now’. When you call or text an independent escort, for example, to request a same-day booking, they may have other clients already scheduled for that day. They might be in the middle of a date with another customer, and unable to respond immediately. And no matter how much free time they have that day, a good worker will never be available right away. It takes time to get dressed, put on makeup, and plan the session!
Want to learn more about hiring sex workers?
Now you know exactly what incalls and outcalls are about. You have some advantages and disadvantages of each to consider, and some useful tips for negotiating an incall or outcall location when contacting a provider.
If you’d like to hear more of my thoughts on choosing the right setting for your next paid date you can also check out this article I wrote for Tryst.
Deciding on an incall versus an outcall is only one of the steps in arranging a session with a sex worker. I’d encourage you to read more! Knowing how to book a worker and what to expect from your session together is also very helpful. With this knowledge, you’re much more likely to have an enjoyable encounter.
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