Seeing a hands-on sex worker for the first time is a huge step…and if you’re nervous, you’re not alone.
One thing I hear over and over from new clients is how anxious they feel booking a session with a sex worker. They’re worry about how to act and they're unsure of the right etiquette. Sometimes, they’re so afraid of getting things wrong that they never end up following through with the session at all.
I don’t want that to happen to you. Seeing an escort can be an amazing experience…it would be a shame if you missed out simply because you were too anxious! This article explains exactly what to expect when meeting an escort for the first time.
Before we begin, you need to know:Every escort does things in their own way, and this blog is a guide only. If your worker asks for something different, please follow their lead.
Let’s assume you’ve found a sex professional who feels right for you. You’ve contacted them and arranged a session. And once the nervous wait is over and the day has finally arrived, you find yourself walking up to their door (or nervously pacing behind your door, if they’re coming to see you). What happens next?
Basically, an escort booking is very much like a real-life date. It’s all about meeting someone, getting to know them, flirting, and getting intimate.
However, unlike a regular date, there’s much more certainty. Because you’re paying for this experience, you don’t have anything to prove – there’s no need to look or act a certain way in order to get laid! As long as you treat your escort with kindness and respect, they’re going to ensure you have a great time.
Here are the stages to expect, and what you’ll need to do, as you move through your session.
Before the Date
If you’re meeting your escort at home or in your hotel room, make sure the space is tidy.
A clean bathroom is essential, since you’ll probably both be spending time there freshening up before and after your play session. It’s also helpful to ensure you have enough clean towels handy.
Georgie says: “I once visited a client at his house. He was lovely, but unfortunately he’d been doing some renovations, and he didn’t have any hot water! Once we’d gotten sexy, I had to go take a cold shower and it was a very unpleasant experience. It ruined what would have been an otherwise lovely date.”
The ‘clean and tidy’ rule applies to you, too. Just like being on a real-life date, you’ll make the best impression if you’re freshly washed and well-dressed.
Although you’re paying for sexual services, nothing is guaranteed. Much of what escorts can offer depends on your personal hygiene; your playmate might not want to kiss you if you haven’t cleaned your teeth, for example! Make sure you’ve washed and trimmed downstairs, use mouthwash, and take care of any body odour issues.
When your escort arrives
When your escort arrives (or when you arrive at her place), be friendly but restrained. Give them some time to relax in their surroundings.
Perhaps you could offer them a glass of water or perhaps a tour of your house? Let them put their bags down, use the bathroom and set out any equipment they might need.
Make sure you give them the fee as soon as possible. Most ladies prefer an envelope of cash to a messy wad of notes. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can both put it out of your minds and concentrate on the fun stuff!
The lady may need to put a call through to her driver or a friend so that they know she is okay – please don’t take this personally, it is something that needs to be done with every client to ensure their safety.
DON’T try to get sexy, grabby or kissy with her before the fee has been paid, it’s rude and will make her feel uncomfortable.
Taking a shower
Your escort may also ask you to shower on arrival. This isn’t personal. It’s just a procedure we follow to ensure we’re comfortable getting hands-on.
This is the time to make sure you’re as fresh as possible. Use soap, deodorant – and mouthwash, if you have it! The better you smell and taste, the more enthusiastic your worker will be about getting close to you.
Once the meet-and-greet is done, what happens next?
Some people might assume the sexy stuff starts right away, but that’s not how it works. Rather, you’ll spend a little while getting to know your escort, the same as you would on a regular date.
You might be thinking, “Why bother with this stuff? If I’m paying for the time, can’t we just skip straight to the sex?”
In my experience, good sex is never rushed. When you meet someone new, it’s essential to take a little time to get comfortable around them. This means that when you do start getting intimate, it’s going to feel much more natural and pleasurable. If you struggle with anxiety around sex, taking time to get to know your escort is also a great way to relax before you get naked.
Georgie says: “I love meeting a client and then sitting down to share a glass of wine while we chat about their week. It helps me get into the mood.”
It’s time to get sexy! But how does it all happen?
Every escort has their own approach to getting things started – the best way to get sex happening is to follow their lead.
Georgie says: “I like to start with some making out, and when things have heated up I’ll suggest we move to the bedroom.”
If you’re not sure what happens next, or how to get sex started, it’s totally fine to ask – and it’s better than just ‘making a move’. Being kissed or grabbed without warning can sometimes startle us, and that’s not sexy!
So start slow, with a gentle touch and some long, flirty eye contact. Then ask for what you want. Try saying, “Can I make out with you a little?” or “How about we get into some sexy stuff? What would you like to do?”
If you’re not sure what feels right, let your worker set the pace. It’s okay to admit you’re nervous, too! If you need to slow down or even take a break, that’s fine.
Once you get intimate, your escort might perform a health check on you, which is when they take a look at your ‘bits’ to make sure you don’t have any visible sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
This sounds awkward, but a good escort knows how to do this discreetly. Often, you may not even notice that they’ve checked you out!
If we do spot anything amiss, we might refuse certain sexual services, for our own safety. If you have anything down there that needs to be checked out by a doctor, it’s best to get it fixed up well before your session, to avoid wasting your time and money.
"What does sex with an escort look like?"
When it comes to getting laid, your experience depends on your escort and on what you’re both comfortable with.
Generally, a ‘full service’ session will include oral sex on you and sexual intercourse. But everything is optional. A blow job or a hand job are fun (and they still count!) You’re allowed to ask for what you want – there’s no expectation that you’ll both spend hours having sex.
A word on erections:An erection isn’t essential. Not everyone gets a boner the first time they meet an escort; after all, it’s a nerve-wracking experience! You might also have other issues around getting hard (such as illness or age-related erectile problems) and that’s okay too. Playtime with an escort doesn’t have to be about intercourse. It can also be about enjoying touch, getting sexy in other ways, or simply enjoying their company.
Practicing safer sex
You’ll need to follow your escort’s lead when it comes to safer sex. They will usually supply condoms and lube, and if they’ll show you how to use them.
Sometimes clients object to using condoms and other safer sex practices because it’s not what they’re used to in their personal lives. If you’ve just come out of a long-term relationship, using protection might feel strange at first! But safer sex isn’t negotiable. As professionals, we take our health and safety very seriously.
A warning about condom slips:Sometimes a client will remove a condom (or let it slip off) during sex. This is known as ‘stealthing’ and it’s a type of sexual assault. It’s against the law in many places, and it’s also a real dick move. If you notice a condom slip or break, you need to let your escort know ASAP.
“How can I please my escort in bed?”
Even though you’re paying for this experience, your escort is still a human being. They might not expect multiple orgasms, but you still need to pay attention to their needs.
If your worker tells you to be gentler or asks to change positions, follow their directions. It’s also polite to ask before doing anything intense – try saying “I’d love to fuck you now” or “Is it okay if I put my fingers inside you?”
Apart from the fact that it’s a bad way to treat others, not caring about your escort’s enjoyment makes for very bad sex. If they’re not having a good time, you’ll get an unenthusiastic service.
Getting to the finish line
For many people, orgasm is the most enjoyable part of sex. But getting there can sometimes be tricky, if you’re anxious. You might be worried about coming too early, or not being able to come at all.
The best way to get around this is to take the pressure off yourself. You don’t have to come during your session. If you do come early, you might be able to keep playing, after a break…or perhaps you could simply lie in bed and enjoy the company of the person you’ve just been intimate with.
You escort won’t expect anything of you in this regard. We’re just as happy hanging out as we are having crazy sexual adventures. Unlike a real-world date, a good escort won’t put pressure on you to perform.
Finishing up the session
Your booking will generally finish up with some cuddling and chatting, as you both wind down.
Your escort will usually leave 10-15 minutes free at the end of the session so that one or both of you can take a shower and gather up their things. They may need to call their driver (if they’re visiting you). It’s your escort’s responsibility to end the session, but we always appreciate you checking in and asking how long you have left, if you’re worried about running overtime!
If you had a good time, thanks are welcome. There’s no need to promise you’ll book again, and no pressure to tip unless you really want to.
Some clients feel a little down at the end of a booking. Even if you had a great time, leaving reminds can be a reminder that your date is transactional, and you might worry that it wasn’t genuine. Rest assured that if you behaved like a gentleman, asked politely for what you wanted, and honoured your escort’s needs, it’s likely they’re feeling happy.
It’s now time to sit down, pour yourself a drink, and reflect on the fun you’ve just had. Even though your experience is over, you’ll have some great memories to take with you.
Get the free ebook now
My guide 'Getting Started with Escorts' explains how to arrange a session with a hands-on sex worker.