In the US it is hard to know what kind of money commitment I am looking at and how safe this will be. It looks like you might cover that in your course that also costs money, I am just not sure how committed I am to this yet. how do I know what to trust?
Fear and uncertainty is common when it comes to sex, and especially when you're considering seeing a sex worker.
Especially in places such as the USA where in-person full-service sex work (such as escorting) is criminalised, it's really hard to get the facts and it might be hard to even talk to your worker beforehand and find out what's on offer (and how much it costs!) Add to that the common assumption that sex work is a bit shady, and it's understandable that you might feel some hesitation.
Let's try and find some answers for you.
Is the sex industry disreputable? How worried should you be about getting scammed?
There's a lot of shame and stigma around sex work. The media (especially the movies and TV) often suggest that someone who swaps sexual services for payment is desperate or (worse) a criminal.
But that's fiction, not reality. If you've read my other posts, you'll see that I think sex work is just like any other kind of business. People do the job for all sorts of reasons...and out clients are just regular people from all walks of life.
As you search for the right worker, you'll meet people with different levels of experience and different ways of working, and it's your job to find someone you trust.
More on that in a moment. But first, let's talk about money.
Every escort charges a different rate...you need to do your homework first.
'How much will it cost?' is a hard question to answer, because every worker is different.
An independent escort sets their own prices and may also charge extra for services such as anal sex, kissing, fantasies or fetishes. There's no minimum 'accepted' rate, and no maximum. Prices can range from a couple hundred dollars to the thousands, depending on the person and the services you want.
Unfortunately, it's not always possible to discuss exact prices for sexual services beforehand, especially in places (such as the USA) where sex work is criminalised. In this situation, it's understandable to feel wary - what if you accidentally commit to something you can't afford?
But by doing a bit of research first, you can usually figure it out. If you visit a reputable escort advertising site, you'll notice that each worker lists their hourly rate. This will give you a ballpark idea of how much your session might cost.
As long as you know your own budget, it should be pretty straightforward to multiply the hourly rate by the time you want, and arrive at the standard price. You might want to allow for a few hundred dollars extra, just in case you ask for a service that incurs on extra cost, or in case you'd like to leave a tip.
When you contact the escort to arrange your session, you'll have a chance to re-confirm the price. But keep in mind that in many locations where sex work is criminalised (including the USA) it's not okay to talk about sex beforehand. When checking the escort's rate, you'll need to say, for example, 'Can I confirm that the rate is $700 for two hours of your time?'
Once you get a reply, you'll feel more secure about your potential investment.
"How do I know if they'll be safe and professional?"
You don't. Not straight away. And I recommend doing you research on the escort you're considering, so you can feel reasonably secure.
Don't get me wrong, sex work isn't an inherently bad industry. It's a service-based kind of business like any other. But like any other small business, there's a lot of trust involved...you don't want to commit to a meeting until you feel that the person you're meeting is professional.
Check out their website, read their reviews, follow them on social media, and pay attention to how professionally they behave online. Find someone who communicates clearly, is consistent in their attitude and presentation, and has been in the industry for a while.
The more familiar you become with your potential playmate, the easier it will be to trust them enough to arrange a session.
Don't book until you're committed.
A lot of folks contact an escort before they feel ready. They might still be anxious, worry about the cost, or be afraid of getting scammed. Then, once the escort accepts their booking request, they get cold feet and back out.
Don't do this! Sex workers deal with a lot of timewasters - people who message or email us but never actually arrange a session, or never turn up to the appointment they've agreed on. If you waste an escort's time, they might decide to block or ignore you...which means that down the track, when you are ready, you won't be able to see them.
To avoid looking like a timewaster, do your research and think it all over until you're 100% sure of your decision. It doesn't matter how long you need...all that matters is that you only move ahead when you feel reasonably confident that you've picked the right person, and you're ready to have the experience.
About the online course...
My online course shares some of the strategies I've described above - I'll show you detailed steps for doing your research, finding someone you get along with, and managing your fear when planning new adventures.
But I never tell you how much you should spend, or who you should trust. Those are things you need to work out for yourself. At the end of the day, you need to feel confident enough to give it a go...if you're unsure, it's better to wait and think it over than to rush into something that makes you feel uncomfortable.
A good sexual experience is all about trust, honesty, and security. Give yourself all the time you need to commit, so that when you finally get there you'll feel relaxed enough to enjoy yourself.
Get the free ebook now
My guide 'Getting Started with Escorts' explains how to arrange a session with a hands-on sex worker.