Ever lived next door to someone who’s always throwing parties? When you’re on the other side of the fence, it’s easy to feel left out.
You know who I’m talking about: the young, happy ones. The ones who are always hanging out on the porch at three in the afternoon on a weekday, drinking wine. The ones for whom, you suspect, life is a lot more fun.
When I was studying at university, my next-door neighbours were always getting together with their friends in the backyard to smoke joints, have barbecues and splash around in the pool. I’d be hanging out my washing on the other side of the fence, and I’d hear them laughing and chatting together. I used to think ‘How do they have so many friends, and so much free time to party, when I'm stuck here?'
Learning to spend time with sex workers can feel a little like this – you can see that there’s fun to be had, but how to walk through that door? It’s a big step to take. Luckily, I’m here to help – with my free guide, ‘Getting Started with Escorts.’
Life in the sex industry sometimes feels like one big party. It’s a select social club with a never-ending variety of adventures – escapades, funny moments, dramas, deep discussions. The party is fenced off from the rest of the world, so the people outside of it can’t really see what’s going on. As an outsider, you might see a flash of colour through the fence, or hear a few seconds of conversation. You know something fun is happening, but you don’t know exactly what – and you have no idea how to get over that fence!
Sex work is still a much-maligned occupation, and folks who see escorts aren’t always able to talk about their experiences. The net result of this is that it’s really difficult to work out what to do if you’re considering seeing an escort. Some of the basic facts – how to find us, how to arrange a date, what to do if things feel awkward – are a mystery. It’s difficult to find out what to do without actually giving it a go … and walking into the sexual unknown can be terrifying.
Where does a busy businessman read about how to book an escort? How does a guy in a wheelchair find the courage to approach a sex worker? How does a lonely divorced guy convince himself he’s not a ‘creep’, and that his sexual needs are important enough to spend money on?
My work is about much more than providing sexual services. I arrange amazing experiences that will give people what they need, emotionally and physically. But there’s also another aspect to my job – being educating, welcoming, and helping those who are trying to get involved. To do this, I’ve been writing blogs for a number of years. I receive a lot of great feedback from both clients and strangers, saying that I’ve helped make sex work a little less mysterious for them.
Now I’ve created something else that will help with that too. It’s an online guide called ‘Getting Started with Escorts’. It’s short and to to-the-point, with basic ideas and approaches that are helpful when you're planning your first booking.
It’s not necessary to memorise long lists of ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ to have an amazing escort date. As anyone who has seen a few of us will know, everyone runs their business differently and has different expectations. Rather, this guide explains few simple ideas and gives you some straightforward skills to help you lift your ‘escort dating game’.
I talk about what we can provide (it’s more than just sex), how to make yourself an appealing client (by being easy to work with) and how to have a great play sessions (with a few sexy skills I’ve picked up over the years).
Most importantly, I try to show that seeing escorts is neither scary nor complicated. It’s not a mysterious process; it just takes practise. With a bit of knowledge, it’s not as scary as it first appears.