I love an adventure. Whether it’s getting dressed up in a onesie or going on a three-hour hike, I like to keep an open mind to trying anything new that comes my way.
So, a while back, I did something new: I booked a date with a male escort. For one night only, I was an escort client.
I know some of you might be thinking, “Why see an escort? Aren’t you getting laid enough already with your clients?” But there's a big difference between sex at work and a sexual experience I'm paying for. When I'm providing a service, my focus is always on the needs of my customers. This time, I wanted to be the centre of attention.
I’ve been doing this job for more than ten years. In that time, I’ve found myself in all sorts of interesting situations, and had some outrageously sexy adventures. But even with all that experience, I there's one experience I don't often indulge: the joy of inviting someone else to take care of me.
There was another reason for this adventure, too. Over the past couple of years, I’d been creating an online course to help clients get the most out of their escort sessions. I’d seen sex workers before – long before I became an escort. But, honestly, working for so long in the business means I’d forgotten what it was like to be on the other side of the fence.
To show other people how to have better experiences, I wanted to remind myself what it felt like to be a customer.
I first spotted male escort Brad online – his sexy selfies caught my attention. He seemed thoughtful and relaxed – exactly the kind of person I’d get along with. But even after I made contact and booked a date, I wasn’t sure if I was making the right decision. Would this experience teach me what I needed to know? If I was looking for perspective, the experience didn’t disappoint. My lessons in being an escort client were about to begin…
The first lesson I learned was how incredibly nerve-wracking an escort session could be. Even before my date arrived at my apartment, I could barely sit still; I was pacing, checking my phone, anxiously tidying my bedroom. Usually cheerful and confident, I was reduced to a nervous mess. By the time Brad actually arrived, it was going to take a miracle to get me into a relaxed frame of mind!
Brad arrived punctually, walked on in, and made himself at home. With quiet conversation, he somehow managed to rescue me from a state of nervousness so intense that I couldn’t even pour a scotch without my hands shaking. Within twenty minutes, I felt completely comfortable in his presence. Knowing how to put someone at ease is one of an escort’s most important skills; I hadn’t realised how reassuring it is when someone and makes you feel as though you’ve known them for years!
Things progressed naturally, from chatting on the couch, to making out, to getting sexy.
I really love casual sex. Whether meeting new clients, getting it on in the kink scene or getting on Tinder, I always enjoy connecting with new people. Meeting someone new and getting naked with him wasn’t a challenge, but I was really interested to observe what happened when I really started enjoying myself. At first, I was curious. Then I felt grateful that Brad had taken the time to cure my anxiety. After that, it was more of a friendly connection, a feeling that deepened into admiration as things progressed.
And then I suddenly found myself wondering ‘Have I started to catch feelings?’
This was the lesson I'd hoped for. When you book an escort session and it turns out perfectly, feelings do come into it. Happiness, gratitude, affection, admiration…all this, and more.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with having feelings. Although many folks think casual sex shouldn’t be emotional, I disagree; I think ALL sex involves emotion. If it didn’t, we wouldn’t enjoy it! Sex is more about the brain than the body. When an escort is skilled and empathetic, those feelings of connection do happen. Knowing that my enjoyment was acceptable helped me relax into the experience, even though I knew that our moment would end when the session was over.
Our time together was all too short…but we both had smiles on our faces when we parted ways. I’d learned the lessons I came for. I was reminded what it’s like to be an escort client.
And I discovered how great it feels when things work out exactly the way we hope.
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My guide 'Getting Started with Escorts' explains how to arrange a session with a hands-on sex worker.