You can’t tell by how someone looks, dresses, or talks. But there’s something about an experienced client that sets them apart.
The customers of sex workers come in all shapes and sizes. They are young, old, or middle-aged. They are married, single, or just experimenting. They are professionally successful, or work minimum wage. They may be well-dressed, or just look like the next average person. They are be socially confident, nervous, or anywhere in-between.
In the beginning, I assumed that every nervous client I met was new to seeing escorts. Whenever I saw someone whose hand was shaking so much that they couldn’t pour their first glass of wine, I’d rush to reassure them and tell them what to expect, so they'd be able to relax. But that nervousness wasn’t always due to lack of experience. Often, they were simply prone to anxiety, even if they'd been seeing escorts for years.
Conversely, I sometimes made the mistake of assuming that a guy who acted cool and confident had already spent time with many other workers. I'm talking about those clients with really good social skills who'd saunter into my hotel room and effortlessly start up a conversation. Imagine my surprise when we’d get to talking and they confessed that our date was their first time with a sex worker! I was amazed.
The truth is, there is a big difference between new clients and experienced clients. But it has very little to do with their social or sexual confidence.
An experienced client will ask all the right questions in their booking enquiry, without shame or embarrassment. “Do you like to cuddle?” they might say. Or, “I’ve found that I enjoy a glass or two of wine beforehand, and perhaps a bath. Is that something you’re interested in?”
Having experimented at length, they know what sort of activities they enjoy and aren’t shy about asking for them. When we’re alone together in the room and I suggest a particular position or new play idea, they’re enthusiastic about the things they want, and firm on the things they don’t.
An experienced client knows how escorts prefer to work, that it’s better to be flexible than force things to a schedule. Where a new customer might worry endlessly about how much time we spend talking and how much we spend on sex, the experienced player understands that allowing things to ‘go with the flow’ will result in a session that feels more natural.
There’s one last thing that I’ve noticed, and it’s impossible to fake. When a client becomes accustomed to seeing escorts, there’s a certain level of ease that they bring to their sessions.
They don’t feel guilty or ashamed. They don’t need to apologise. They understand that seeing a sex worker is just another type of professional interaction – neither better nor worse than any other. They put aside any negative or anxious feelings and simply give themselves over to the experience, cherishing everything they gain from it.
Knowing how to enjoy pleasure without guilt – that’s a sure sign of an experienced client. If you're not there yet, perhaps one day you will be?
Get the free ebook now
My guide 'Getting Started with Escorts' explains how to arrange a session with a hands-on sex worker.