Essential Twitter etiquette for escort and sex work clients
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Essential Twitter etiquette for escort and sex work clients

Georgie Wolf
Georgie Wolf

Twitter is an incredibly useful tool for escort clients.

At its most basic, it's a social network you can use to distract yourself during the workday, catch up on gossip, and hear about new ideas. But if you see sex workers regularly, it's also a place where you can educate yourself about the industry and get to know potential playmates before committing to a session together.

Often, escorts post a lot of information on Twitter that might not be available on our advertisements - everything from our thoughts about the world, to our preferences in the bedroom. Following the workers you're interested in allows you to gauge someone's professionalism, find selfies, get their up-to-date travel schedules, and discover mutual interests that you might want to discuss on your next dinner date.

But like any social media platform, there's some etiquette involved. If you're new to Twitter, you may feel a bit overwhelmed when deciding whether to follow, like, comment, or retweet. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, or accidentally making a bad impression.

I recently reached out to ask sex workers on Twitter for their best etiquette advice. The result: some real gems on how to interact with your favourite providers in a ways that will help you enjoy the platform without jeopardizing your future booking success.

These rules aren't one-size-fits-all! As with everything in the sex industry, workers each have their own preferences. But the advice that's generously offered here is a great place to start.

"Twitter is a cocktail party, not a date."

Professional dominatrix and writer Mistresse Matisse has the perfect metaphor to describe the social media experience. "Twitter is a cocktail party, not a one-on-one date," she says.

Where much of our digital communication - emails, private messages, and texts - functions like a regular in-person conversation, a Twitter discussion thread is more reminiscent of a group of people standing around at a party. You can join in, and people might engage with you (or not) if they like what you have to say. You can also choose to listen quietly...that's okay too.

What isn't okay: basically anything that would be considered obnoxious at your best friend's birthday gig. Trying to take over the whole conversation, shouting and swearing, or answering a question directed at someone else, will probably make you unpopular.

It's not the place to get special one-on-one attention from a worker you see regularly or take a special interest in. When escorts and other sex workers post on Twitter, we're speaking to all our followers, not just you. If you crave personal attention, you'll need to arrange a paid booking.

More tips for fun Twitter conversations

So how can you engage with your favourite worker online, without worrying that you're overstepping their boundaries or scaring them off? Obviously every worker feels differently, but here are a few ideas...

Avoid direct messages, unless you're arranging a booking.

Public comments good, DMs bad.

As someone who works four different jobs, I'm a very busy gal. I simply don't have time to answer the many private messages I receive from followers every day. Jenna Love, sex worker and co-host of the podcast Somebody You Love, feels the same way. "Private engagement is a hindrance," she says.

If I enjoy a comment on Twitter, it's easy to hit the 'heart' button and move on. But a private message requires the kind of personalised attention that you're unlikely to get from me, unless you're actually paying for it. So until you're ready to request a booking, it's best to simply tag me in a public comment (using @GeorgieWolf) or reply to one of mine.

Don't be an echo - add to the conversation

If you reply to one of our posts, make sure you add something valuable to the conversation.

Ms Jadis Ives, an experienced BDSM professional from Sydney, says, "Twitter clients that are able to follow the vibe of the provider's posts tend to get a lot more interaction/attention." Talking about your experience or opinion on the same topic gives us insight into you, and it's much more interesting than, 'yes, I agree.'

Not all Twitter threads are welcoming of client comments. You might sometimes notice that a conversation is happening between two workers, or a worker might be asking for help and advice from other professionals.  If the topic is specific to workers and you haven't been invited to join, it's usually safest to avoid interrupting.

Don't sexualise every interaction.

Escort Frankie James says that making everything about sex can come across as inappropriate: "Don't write creepy sexually objectifying comments on our photos."

Sure, a compliment can be nice...but keep it appropriate. Just because we share our boobs (or other bits) online doesn't mean we want our discussion threads to read like a smutty story.

Sex workers are people, not sex objects. If you know how to hold a friendly conversation without getting sleazy, we're much more likely to see you as a good potential client.

If we already know you, make sure we know your Twitter handle too.

If you're  a paying customer, tell us your Twitter handle. That way, we can keep track of all our interactions with you.

As Jenna points out below, it's easy to lose track of our regs on Twitter when names and profile pictures don't match up with real-life details. Your worker might want to give you a little extra attention, if they know who you are!

It's also helpful to mention your Twitter handle when booking a new escort, if you've followed them online for a while. This allows us to check your profile and see what kind of interactions we've had in the past. The more we know about you, the more secure we'll feel when we finally meet.

Support your favourite workers by retweeting and liking

Twitter is a marketing platform for us - not just promoting ourselves, but also keeping in touch with our clients' preferences. According to Melbourne escort Tash Murphy, polls and client questions are a great way for us to find out how you feel.

Ms Jadis says that public comments are helpful because they make our profiles more visible to other potential clients. If you want to support your favourite worker, an RT is always appreciated too!

Now you know the basics...go have fun!

But remember, chatting with sex workers online isn't a substitute for a one-on one date. Rather, it's a chance to join the party and see who catches your eye. After that, it's up to you to approach the escort you're interested in, to arrange a paid session.