Twitter is an incredibly useful tool for escort clients.
At its most basic, it's a social network you can use to distract yourself during the workday, catch up on gossip, and hear about new ideas. But if you see sex workers regularly, it's also a place where you can educate yourself about the industry and get to know potential playmates before committing to a session together.
Often, escorts post a lot of information on Twitter that might not be available on our advertisements - everything from our thoughts about the world, to our preferences in the bedroom. Following the workers you're interested in allows you to gauge someone's professionalism, find selfies, get their up-to-date travel schedules, and discover mutual interests that you might want to discuss on your next dinner date.
But like any social media platform, there's some etiquette involved. If you're new to Twitter, you may feel a bit overwhelmed when deciding whether to follow, like, comment, or retweet. You might worry about saying the wrong thing, or accidentally making a bad impression.
I recently reached out to ask sex workers on Twitter for their best etiquette advice. The result: some real gems on how to interact with your favourite providers in a ways that will help you enjoy the platform without jeopardizing your future booking success.
These rules aren't one-size-fits-all! As with everything in the sex industry, workers each have their own preferences. But the advice that's generously offered here is a great place to start.
"Twitter is a cocktail party, not a date."
Professional dominatrix and writer Mistresse Matisse has the perfect metaphor to describe the social media experience. "Twitter is a cocktail party, not a one-on-one date," she says.
Where much of our digital communication - emails, private messages, and texts - functions like a regular in-person conversation, a Twitter discussion thread is more reminiscent of a group of people standing around at a party. You can join in, and people might engage with you (or not) if they like what you have to say. You can also choose to listen quietly...that's okay too.
Twitter is a cocktail party, not a one-to-one date. When I say things here, I'm not addressing my words to you individually. I don't send "coded messages". This is entertainment. 99.9% of people I talk to here are not my clients. Don't be "jealous" of me talking to other people.— Mistress Matisse (@mistressmatisse) January 6, 2022
What isn't okay: basically anything that would be considered obnoxious at your best friend's birthday gig. Trying to take over the whole conversation, shouting and swearing, or answering a question directed at someone else, will probably make you unpopular.
It's not the place to get special one-on-one attention from a worker you see regularly or take a special interest in. When escorts and other sex workers post on Twitter, we're speaking to all our followers, not just you. If you crave personal attention, you'll need to arrange a paid booking.
More tips for fun Twitter conversations
So how can you engage with your favourite worker online, without worrying that you're overstepping their boundaries or scaring them off? Obviously every worker feels differently, but here are a few ideas...
Avoid direct messages, unless you're arranging a booking.
Public comments good, DMs bad.
As someone who works four different jobs, I'm a very busy gal. I simply don't have time to answer the many private messages I receive from followers every day. Jenna Love, sex worker and co-host of the podcast Somebody You Love, feels the same way. "Private engagement is a hindrance," she says.
Public engagement (likes, comments, RTs) is really helpful. Private engagement (DMs, off-platform messages) is a hindrance— Jenna Love (@jennahasredhair) December 29, 2021
If I enjoy a comment on Twitter, it's easy to hit the 'heart' button and move on. But a private message requires the kind of personalised attention that you're unlikely to get from me, unless you're actually paying for it. So until you're ready to request a booking, it's best to simply tag me in a public comment (using @GeorgieWolf) or reply to one of mine.
I'm the same way with texting, but Im slightly more willing to engage on Twitter (bc engagement on Twitter has additional benefits for me). Like, please don't text me! I hate texting back and forth. Text is for logistics only. Tweet at me and you have a better chance I'll engage.— SFW Princess Marx LosAngeles (@ThePrincessMarx) January 6, 2022
Don't be an echo - add to the conversation
If you reply to one of our posts, make sure you add something valuable to the conversation.
Ms Jadis Ives, an experienced BDSM professional from Sydney, says, "Twitter clients that are able to follow the vibe of the provider's posts tend to get a lot more interaction/attention." Talking about your experience or opinion on the same topic gives us insight into you, and it's much more interesting than, 'yes, I agree.'
1/2Ok one more! Twitter clients/subs that are able to follow the vibe of the providers posts tend to get a lot more interaction/attention. The provider is talking about their pets? Chat about pets? The provider is talking about their fav books.. talk about books. Trying to— Ms Jadis Ives (@MsJadis) January 6, 2022
2/2 sexualise every interaction or make it about your fetishes often doesn't play well and can be very frustrating and draining for providers. Want twitter interaction? be appropriate and fun to interact with!— Ms Jadis Ives (@MsJadis) January 6, 2022
Not all Twitter threads are welcoming of client comments. You might sometimes notice that a conversation is happening between two workers, or a worker might be asking for help and advice from other professionals. If the topic is specific to workers and you haven't been invited to join, it's usually safest to avoid interrupting.
Likes, comments + retweets are helpful and appreciated! 🥰 Keep it clean. Notice when providers are having a one-on-one interaction. (Stick to commenting on the original post or threads relevant to you). Keep all comments about making a booking/seeing us, to private emails/txts.— Daisy Delaney (@daisydelaneyx) December 29, 2021
Don't sexualise every interaction.
Escort Frankie James says that making everything about sex can come across as inappropriate: "Don't write creepy sexually objectifying comments on our photos."
Sure, a compliment can be nice...but keep it appropriate. Just because we share our boobs (or other bits) online doesn't mean we want our discussion threads to read like a smutty story.
Sex workers are people, not sex objects. If you know how to hold a friendly conversation without getting sleazy, we're much more likely to see you as a good potential client.
Don't write creepy sexually objectifying comments on our photos. If you like them & want to say something nice say "you look so hot" not "oh yea baby good body want to lick your ass so bad" 😅🚫— Frankie James 🍑 02/02 Next Available! (@Frankie_James_x) January 6, 2022
If we already know you, make sure we know your Twitter handle too.
If you're a paying customer, tell us your Twitter handle. That way, we can keep track of all our interactions with you.
As Jenna points out below, it's easy to lose track of our regs on Twitter when names and profile pictures don't match up with real-life details. Your worker might want to give you a little extra attention, if they know who you are!
It's also helpful to mention your Twitter handle when booking a new escort, if you've followed them online for a while. This allows us to check your profile and see what kind of interactions we've had in the past. The more we know about you, the more secure we'll feel when we finally meet.
It’s helpful for us to put a face to the name - if you’ve seen us in person let us know what your handle is otherwise you’ll just be another in the faceless sea of ‘david0765889’s and ‘boobs69luvr’s— Jenna Love (@jennahasredhair) December 29, 2021
Support your favourite workers by retweeting and liking
Twitter is a marketing platform for us - not just promoting ourselves, but also keeping in touch with our clients' preferences. According to Melbourne escort Tash Murphy, polls and client questions are a great way for us to find out how you feel.
I really like it when clients on twitter participate in polls and explain their response-- it gives us more info and is very useful feedback.— Tash Murphy (✈ SYDNEY 11th-13th Jan) (@tashmurphy_au) December 29, 2021
Retweets and compliments/friendly comments are also very welcome engagement.
Ms Jadis says that public comments are helpful because they make our profiles more visible to other potential clients. If you want to support your favourite worker, an RT is always appreciated too!
Try to interact with your Domme’s social media posts publicly where possible. This boosts the visibility and reach of her posts and allows other subs to follow the conversation. Dming her doesn’t carry these additional benefits.— Ms Jadis Ives (@MsJadis) May 14, 2021
Now you know the basics...go have fun!
But remember, chatting with sex workers online isn't a substitute for a one-on one date. Rather, it's a chance to join the party and see who catches your eye. After that, it's up to you to approach the escort you're interested in, to arrange a paid session.
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